What I learnt from arguing with my mom

A post by Ebenezer Agbey Quist

After receiving Form 1 examination scripts when I was in Junior High School, I sent them home as usual. My mum perused all the scripts but none got on her nerves like my English essay.

I had misspelt some very common words, I myself was surprised to see. I don’t remember how exactly she put it, but I remember she described them as “careless mistakes”.

I remember very well, because that was the part that got my nerves working too. “I am not careless,” I tried to defend myself. “It was only a mistake!”

She remained silent for a moment when she heard that. It was like she offered me the space to think again about my words. Then she calmly said to me, “don’t you know how to spell these words?” “Yes,” I replied. “So were you careful when you were writing them?”

That part got in me. As it sank deeper, she added that “to do something without care means you care less about it. You wouldn’t have gotten these wrong if you were careful“.

Now I was satisfied. She handed the paper to me and left me alone in my thoughts. I deliberated over it and realized I deserved the word, “careless” after all. If I were cautious, I could have still made mistakes but certainly not on such common words. From that day, I became very watchful of my spellings anytime I wrote anything.

The Lesson

Growing up, I have seen this same scenario play in different forms almost every day. In our conversations, we are more focused on how the other person addresses us, than we are on the message they try to convey to us.

But we must rather cultivate the habit of not arguing, but listening to criticisms. And especially so, if it’s coming from someone we know truly cares about us.

Truth is, when we pick up the vital lessons behind the not-too-comfortable tone people speak with, we feel we have given our strength away. But no! Sometimes, the best answers to our deepest questions are the very ones we keep arguing away.

It does not matter how we are spoken to. It matters what we are told, and what we can learn from it. The best goods, don’t always come wrapped up in the nicest packages. So don’t just listen to reply but to apply.

This is only one of the many true inspirational stories shared in the Facebook Group, What Life Just Taught Me. Search for it and join us for a life-changing experience.

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